Harnessing the Power of Polarity in Divorce: A Path to Self-Discovery and Evolution

In “A Man’s Journey Through Divorce”, Episode 116: “Shift Your Divorce Through the 7 Universal Laws,”,we discuss the Law of Polarity. The unwelcome nature of challenges and personal struggle in divorce, highlight the activeness and beauty of this law at work.

In Thomas Troward’s The Creative Process in the Individual, he explores the idea of polarity as a fundamental principle in creation, stating that for any form of creation to occur, there must be a dynamic interplay of opposites. Polarity refers to the existence of contrasting forces—positive and negative, active and receptive—that, through their interaction, lead to growth, transformation, and ultimately creation. In Troward’s metaphysical framework, these polarities are not antagonistic but complementary, each essential to the process of unfolding potential into reality.

Applying Polarity to Divorce and Relationships:

In the context of a relationship between two divorcing individuals, polarity can be seen as the interaction of opposing energies that were once harmonized in the marriage but now lead to the dissolution of that union. However, instead of viewing the separation as a purely destructive event, understanding polarity can frame the divorce as a necessary phase in the evolution of both individuals toward personal completeness.

Polarity in the Relationship:

During the marriage, there is often a dynamic exchange of polar forces—emotional, psychological, and even spiritual. In healthy relationships, these opposing forces can create a balance, a shared creative energy that allows both individuals to thrive together. But when polarity becomes unbalanced, tensions rise, and what was once complementary may now appear as conflict. I’ve referred to this as the “relationship of need fulfillment.” The process of divorce, from this perspective, is the acknowledgment that the creative polarity between the two individuals has shifted, and what was once constructive is no longer serving either party.

Polarity as a Catalyst for Evolution:

Just as polarity is a necessity for creation, it is also a catalyst for personal evolution. The tension and dissonance felt during the divorce process, when viewed through Troward’s lens, are not random or purposeless but are instead part of the spiritual and personal process of “knowing thyself.” Each individual must confront how they were dependent on or defined by the other’s energy, and in the process, rediscover and redefine their energy.

Active vs. Receptive Forces: In the marriage, one partner may have played a more active role while the other was more receptive. Divorce can trigger a shift, where both individuals are called to balance their own active and receptive forces—essentially reclaiming their full creative power that was perhaps diluted by the marriage’s dynamic.

Polarity and Self-Knowledge:

Divorce brings both individuals face-to-face with the core aspects of their own identity. The separation of these polar energies within the relationship allows for a deeper investigation into who each person truly is, apart from the dynamic they maintained with their spouse. This is the essence of the spiritual directive to “know thyself.”

Understanding Opposites Within: Just as polarity exists between two people, it also exists within an individual. The divorce process may lead each person to confront aspects of themselves they previously projected onto their partner. For instance, someone who identified themselves primarily as a nurturing, receptive partner may need to cultivate assertive, active qualities within themselves to find balance.

Reintegration of Polarities in Self:

After the divorce, each individual is left with the task of integrating these polarities within themselves. The goal is no longer to find balance with another person but to create an inner harmony where one’s active (creative, expressive) and receptive (intuitive, reflective) qualities are fully realized. This reintegration is key to the personal evolution that follows the dissolution of the marriage.

Spiritual Evolution through Polarity:

Divorce, when approached through the lens of polarity, becomes a powerful opportunity for spiritual growth. Instead of seeing the other person as the cause of one’s suffering, the polarity principle helps individuals recognize that this tension was necessary for their own evolution. It is through the struggle, the dissolution of external polarity, that one can begin to see their own completeness and evolve into a more fully realized self.

Moving Toward Wholeness: The goal of polarity is not for one force to dominate the other, but for them to exist in harmony, creating something greater than the sum of their parts. Divorce can be viewed as the breakdown of the external polarity between two people, but this breakdown opens the space for each person to cultivate wholeness within themselves. In other words, the end of the marriage marks the beginning of a new creative process for both individuals—one in which they can fully integrate the polarities of their own being.

Divorce as a Spiritual Milestone:

In Troward’s view, creative processes, including relationships, have a spiritual dimension. The dissolution of a relationship, painful as it may be, is not the end of creation but the shift to a new form of creation. Divorce can be a spiritual milestone, where each person moves from dependence on external polarity (in the form of a relationship) to internal completeness, where they are both the positive and negative forces within their own lives, capable of creating a fulfilling, self-aware future.

Conclusion: Polarity as a Path to “Know Thyself”:

Through the lens of Troward’s concept of polarity, divorce can be understood as a powerful catalyst for personal evolution and self-discovery. The tension and dissolution that come with the end of a marriage are part of the larger creative process—one that allows individuals to shed dependencies, confront their own inner polarities, and ultimately move toward a deeper understanding of themselves. In this way, polarity is not only a necessity for creation but also a necessity for personal and spiritual evolution. Divorce, though painful, offers the opportunity to “know thyself” in a profound and transformative way.