Divorce is often described as a battle—of emotions, of legalities, of identity. It’s a fight to hold on to something slipping away. But what if the real breakthrough isn’t in the fight, but in the letting go?
Physics teaches us something profound about this process.
Newton’s Third Law of Motion: The Resistance Within
Newton’s Third Law of Motion states:
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
We see this in life, in relationships, in divorce.
- The more we cling to the past, the stronger the pain of losing it.
- The harder we resist reality, the more exhausting it becomes.
- The more we fight against what is, the deeper we sink into suffering.
Divorce, at its core, is an emotional tug-of-war—a relentless push and pull between what was, what is, and what could be.
But this tension can’t last forever.
The Tipping Point: When Holding On Becomes More Painful Than Letting Go
In The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell explains that change happens when small, consistent shifts accumulate until a critical mass is reached—and suddenly, everything is different.
This happens in divorce, too.
At first, every moment feels like a struggle:
- The memories flood in, pulling you back.
- The anger keeps the past alive, fueling the need for justice.
- The fear of the unknown keeps you from moving forward.
But then, something shifts.
One day, holding on hurts more than letting go.
One conversation, one quiet realization, one deep breath—and you tip into acceptance. Not because you “give up,” but because you’re ready to be free.
What Causes the Shift?
It’s different for everyone. Sometimes it happens in a single moment; sometimes it builds over time. It might be:
- Realizing that no amount of blame changes the past.
- Waking up one morning and feeling exhausted by the same cycle of emotions.
- Accepting that your ex is not responsible for your healing—only you are.
- Seeing that the person you were fighting to hold onto isn’t the person you need anymore.
When this realization lands, it creates a ripple effect.
- You stop pushing against reality and start moving with it.
- You stop resisting emotions and start letting them flow through.
- You stop replaying the past and start envisioning a new future.
Letting Go: The Freedom of Equal and Opposite Reactions
Here’s the irony: the moment we release our grip, life meets us with an equal and opposite reaction.
- When we stop demanding closure, peace finds us.
- When we stop seeking validation, we feel whole on our own.
- When we stop fearing the future, opportunities unfold.
Newton’s Third Law isn’t just about physics—it’s about life’s balance. The force we exert—whether in resistance or in release—always meets an equal force in return. The question is: What kind of force are you putting out?
Final Thought: Where Are You in This Process?
Are you still fighting? Still holding on? Or have you reached your tipping point?
If you’re in the struggle, know this: every small step toward acceptance is building momentum. Keep going.
And if you’ve tipped—if you’ve felt the shift—then you already know: the freedom was always waiting on the other side.
Let go. Let life meet you where you are. If you need guidance on how to let go, please schedule a free consultation.